I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
