Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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