I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
