i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
