Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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