I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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