ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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