Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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