at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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