If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize