his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
