YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
