mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
