I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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