you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
