that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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