The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
