Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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