Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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