I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
