Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
