he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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