Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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