Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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