theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
