hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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