is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Your cock deserves a montage
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
