happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
