i was born a porn star she said
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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