The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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