new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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