dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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