I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
