I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
