moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
