You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
