she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize