Will you blow on my dice?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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