So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We named our party play list daddy issues
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm passing your future prison.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
