Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
