i think i have herpe
just one?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
