This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
