left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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