i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
40s are totally the cure
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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