Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
