Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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