Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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