yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We got so high we made milksteak
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
