Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
