You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize