Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
