they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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