She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
