PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize