Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
