I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
