You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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