I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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