I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
